An old friend recently moved to Manchester so my husband Ross and I went to visit for the weekend. As we walked home from a bar at about 3am we crossed an old wrought iron bridge where New Quay street and Irwell street meet. A man in his thirties walked ahead of us on the bridge carrying a white plastic bag and a large white sheet over his shoulder. As we passed him, he started to climb over the railings into the cream coloured metalwork of the bridge. I slowed down and turned around to see what was happening. There was a moment of hesitancy, I didn’t know whether to stop or not. All the thoughts that rushed through my mind in this situation… I was drunk, it was none of my business, is there anyone helping him, don’t talk to strangers, don’t make a fool of yourself. If i’m honest, if there were other people around I may not have stopped due to the assumption that someone else would step in. I read about this once, it’s called The bystander effect it’s “a theory that states that individuals are less likely to offer help to a victim when there are other people present.” The fact I was drunk probably helped as it lowered the social barrier of talking to strangers at 3am.
I walked back and asked him what he was up to. I have no idea what the right or wrong thing was to say to someone in this position so I kept my tone neutral and just asked him questions. He talked about tying up the sheet onto the metalwork of the bridge and asked me if I could help him, to which I declined and said it was a bad idea, why don’t you come back over the barrier and talk. He said that he couldn’t stand being unhappy and lonely, that he used to have friends and now nobody talks to him. He was obviously in mental distress and slurred his words.
Ross had joined me to talk to the man, and the friend we had come to visit walked away slightly to call the police for help. He got stuck in a queue due to a ‘high number of calls’ for most of the interaction.
Despite numerous attempts, the sheet wasn’t secure enough for him to tie a noose to hold his weight and he got frustrated about it, we tried to explain how difficult it would be to achieve that and how awful it would be to fall into the water. After a few moments thought, he agreed and so sat down on the ledge of the bridge, dangled his legs over the edge and stared into the dark canal. The plastic bag that contained his belongings sat next to him. He seemed to be getting calmer.
While we talked to him to try to interrupt his pattern of negative thinking the security guard from the Premier Inn at the end of the bridge walked over. She asked him if he was alright and offered him a cigarette but he seemed unresponsive to the offer and said he was staying there, at which point a man came over and joined us to see what was happening. The security guard had to go back to her post on the door of the hotel and the three of us kept talking to him.
The new arrival was far more forthright in his language and attitude, almost bossy, telling him not to be daft and come over and have a cigarette with him, he kept repeating it like an order. Miraculously this tough love approach worked. He stood up, grabbed his plastic bag and we helped him climb back over the barrier onto the pavement, then I climbed over and untied the sheet from the ironwork. He was apologetic and kept saying “thank you” for stopping him. The moment had passed, for those twenty minutes it looked like he was in absolute pain and despair, the sound of his voice and the look on his face gave the impression of a broken man. Now he seemed calm, lucid and present again and took the offer of a cigarette from the man who’d offered it. He walked along chatting with the cigarette man and after we’d made sure he was ok, we walked passed the hotel security guard who said thank you and turned left to continue our way home.
The police never arrived.
Looking back over the events it feels like I did so little, just stopped for a chat, but it seemed to have stalled him long enough for the moment to pass and that small intervention made a big difference. I hope there is someone there to do the same thing if he should ever feel that despair again.
A friend did something similar a few years ago, unfortunately he was successful in the attempt. I wrote about that here.
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